Healing After A Breakup – Getting Through The Pain Inside

Healing after a breakup:

Healing after a breakup – how to heal when you feel so bad? You may be blaming yourself…still angry with your girlfriend or boyfriend.

You’ve had a bad fight and you’d love to make up with your ex. You’re hurting inside and so is your ex right now.

One thing – you aren’t alone when it comes to this breakup pain. Whether you come together and save your relationship – rebuild it for the better or end up parting ways…you start the healing from the fight sooner rather than later.

What You Can Do Right Now To Start Healing After A Breakup

1st – don’t be afraid to embrace your pain. I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but facing your pain and allowing yourself to feel it completely right now is what you need to be doing.

Breaking up with the person you love the most – it is like experiencing a death, even if it is a temporary one. Don’t be afraid to cry and let it out…tears have a way of cleansing from the inside out.

2nd – you have to face reality and not slip into denial. Sometimes when the hurts in life get too bad, we suppress our emotions and try to get on with life, without ever really dealing with our pain. This isn’t the right way to heal from a breakup.

Healing After A Breakup – Where Does Your Relationship Stand?

If you and your partner tend to fight on a regular basis…fight, breakup and then reconcile – this is a pattern you need to be aware of and interrupt.

Do you honestly want to continue destructive painful relationship patterns?

An important part of healing after a breakup is facing some realizations about how you have been relating and what led you to this point.

When you open the lines of communication between you, it’s time to find out where you both stand. Is your relationship really over? Do you both want to try again?

If you want to try again and you realize you’ve both been trapped inside a vicious cycle of getting back, fighting, breaking up and making up – it’s time to get off the merry-go-round and consciously interrupt this pattern when it starts.

Healing After A Breakup – If You Go Your Separate Ways

If you and your partner decide that you don’t want to continue – or if you want to get back together, try again and your partner doesn’t…this is when you really enter the healing after a breakup stage.

It’s always tougher on the person “left behind” in the relationship – the person who was “broken up with” or, to put it bluntly, “dumped.” If you are this person in the relationship, your healing process needs to start from within – the sooner the better.

Healing After A Breakup – What To Do Now

You’ve come through the tears and you’ve accepted that you are broken up, at least for now. The fact is, you might never get your ex girlfriend or boyfriend back – but your life will go on, if you let it.

If you allow yourself to heal.

The next step after total acceptance of the breakup is to stop blaming. You’ve been having these thoughts going through your head for what seems like forever…it’s time to stop blaming yourself, if that’s what you are doing – and also to stop blaming your ex.

As hard as it may seem right now, you can forgive yourself and your ex for the mistakes in your relationship – for the fights, the misunderstandings and the grief you caused each other.

Maybe your ex cheated on you? When you forgive him or her for cheating, that doesn’t mean you excuse the behavior or that it was OK that the cheating and deceit happened.

Forgiveness is your vehicle to move on…get your heart into a healing place and face the act head on, while making the conscious decision to let it go. When you do that, your heart is able to release from the icy grip of pain that surrounds it now.

Healing After a Breakup – Further Letting Go

If you’ve been living together and your ex has moved out – it’s time to do a bit of space cleansing. If your ex has left some belongings and you aren’t prepared to deal with returning them yet, gather them up and put them in a corner where they are out of sight, out of mind.

Then, once you are stronger and can do this without feeling the breakup pain, contact your ex and ask whether or not they want their belongings. Only do this when you know you are stronger emotionally, once your heart has healed more.

If they want to come and get the rest of their belongings and you don’t want to face them, consider having a friend or family member be there when they come to collect their things.

You will come to a point where you feel that the separation has come to completion. When you reach this point, you may want to perform a brief ceremony or ritual of self-empowerment.

Think of this as part of your healing process, because it is. We find meaning in our lives when we give our lives meaning in special ways. Something as simple as lighting a new candle to light your way forward as a stronger wiser person can be a powerful healing tool.

Healing After a Breakup – Giving Yourself Time

Letting go and moving on, depending on the depth of feelings and time you spent together…it can take longer than you might expect. Some people – they never fully recover because the love was so intense.

I’ve always turned to nature during a painful breakup. Just being in the woods or near a lake or ocean has always sped up the healing process, for me personally.

Turning to friends and family is a powerful step for healing after a breakup. If you’re still struggling with the painful questions of “what did I do wrong” or “what could I have done to prevent this”…talking these out with the people who love you can help put them to rest sooner.

I encourage you to embrace the healing process and make it your own. It doesn’t matter how long it lasts…it’s OK.

Yes, it’s a struggle and one of the hardest most painful things in life to go through, healing after a breakup, but you will make it and come out a stronger person on the other side.

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